Make Believe
by OdairsTrident
Summary: My name is Katniss Everdeen. Cato and I are the victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Cato has nothing left, I have everything to lose. With no one left, will I finally get to know the real him? Oh, and one more thing. To make the whole thing work, Cato and I have to make everyone believe we're in love. Get ready to get lost between reality and the biggest game of make believe, ever.
1. Chapter 1

The first thing I pick up on is the smell, that horrible stench of disinfectants that stings my nose. At first I expect I am still in the games, tucked away happily high up in a tree where no one knows. Where no one can find me, no one can even shoot a bow at me.

But I very much doubt the arena smells like this.

And then I hear the beeps. None that I have heard before, ones in a perfect rhythm. At first I think the Capitol has made a new mutation, one that you can hear coming from a while away almost if it's taunting me, showing that it can kill me in a heartbeat, even if I can see it coming. My eyes shoot open in a sudden panic just thinking about mutts, and the mysterious beeps speed up rapidly. Thats when I notice where I am, a very clean looking white room with equipment around me, a needle type thing is in my hand leading up to what looks like a bag of clear liquid, water maybe? _Think about this, _I say to myself. _Put the pieces together, you know where you are, just think. Disinfectants, machines everywhere that don't at all look at they were designed for killing, that annoying beeping sound coming from somewhere... _Then the word comes to mind: _Hospital. _

I have no idea how I know that from just my surroundings, sure I've heard other people talking about these places but I've never been to one being from District 12 and having my mother as a healer. It feels like hours that I have been just sat in silence, nothing but the beeping to keep me company.

I take note of my appearance. The grime that once covered my body had gone, along with the scars. How did that happen? Curiosity takes over as I reach up to feel the smooth surface of where Clove once cut me above my eyebrow and I spent time checking out some of the other places that had been previously damaged; including my leg where the skin looked brand new, not as if it had been burnt while I was running for my life in the arena.

"Don't touch too much." A high pitched voice snaps. A woman who looks around my mothers age stands in the doorway dressed in white and holding a clipboard. I can only assume she's my mother's age, people from the Capitol get all sorts of work done. There's no telling what's natural and what's not here.

Am I even in the Capitol anymore? Obviously I'm not in the arena, but I struggle to remember how I got here.

"Sorry," I mutter, moving my hand away from my hairy upper leg. I must have been here a while, my prep team made sure I was hairless before they would even bother with the rest of me. So many questions rush through my mind but I doubt this woman of all people will be able to provide answers, so I start by asking anything simple. "Where am I?"

"The hospital." she says rudely, walking over to inspect the bag of clear liquid next to my bed before jotting something down on her clipboard and taking another look at me. "In the Capitol, if that's what you're thinking." She rolls her eyes. Already I feel myself disliking her even more. She's obviously from here, she doesn't know any different than getting whisked away to a fancy hospital every time she got the slightest injury.

Not that I could blame her for how she was raised. People from my own district probably don't agree with my ways- taught how to hunt illegally from such a young age. Memories of my father threaten to make a reappearance but instead a familiar. almost comforting, voice says, "Driving the nurses crazy already, sweetheart?" Without thinking I snap my head to the doorway once again, it makes me kind of dizzy but I never thought that I'd be so relieved to see Haymitch. "Careful," he says in a serious tone. "We don't want to go through all that again."

"All of what?" I ask, eager to find out how I ended up here. I have a feeling I won't like it but I ask anyway, I'll find out sooner or later so there's no point in hiding it.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asks calmly, walking over to take a seat on one of the uncomfotable looking chairs by the side of my bed. Instantly I can tell he's sober for once. No one in the right mind here will let him inside a place like this when he's drunk.

My last memory? Well that's being on top of the Cornucopia with the mutations after us. "The Games," I reply. "Did I win?" It's strange how I can't remember such an important fact like that. I then realise how stupid my question is, I wouldn't be here if I didn't win.

"Yes. You won, congratulations," he answers anyway.

"You don't have to congratulate me for the death of 23 people." I reply harsher than I intend. "Unless.. Did Peeta get out? is he okay?" Maybe he got out, maybe it was only 22 people. Two could win if they were from the same district, after all.

Haymitch shakes his head slowly, looking at me with sad eyes as if he'd lost his son. In a way, he has. I know Haymitch loved his company, even if he won't admit it. He wanted Peeta and I to be victors. Both of us, not just me. "I see." I whisper in response feeling my heart drop.

I try to think about how it happened, but it's like my memory has gone blank. Instead I decide to ask Haymitch.

"Mutations." He gives me a concerned look. "Would you like to watch it?" He indicates to the screen near my bed. Obviously in the Capitol even those sick in hospital get pleasure out of the less weathly teenagers die. Back home we have no choice but to watch it, even at school. The teachers can't stand it either, but what can they do about it? Although the teachers needn't worry about their names being drawn at the reaping the following year. They must have some years ago, but now they're perfectly safe as many of the children will be in years to come.

Haymitch still waits for a response, the TV control in his hand. "No.. No, thank you." I find myself fiddling with the gown, I feel bare for some strange reason.

I'm the victor of the 74th Hunger Games.

I don't feel any different, I thought I would.. But I just don't. I feel sad. Disappointed I didn't have Peeta here to share the glory. In fact, glory is not the right word, more like relief for being alive and guilt for the 23 dead. Not all of them were my fault, Marvel and Glimmer definitely.. I caused a few tracker jacker stings but maybe nothing else except those. I'm not sure if my intention was for Glimmer to die, I just wanted them out of the way so I could exit the tree in safety. I think back to the amount of leg hair I have gained. "How long have I been here?" I ask Haymitch.

He furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head to one side while he thinks, "A month, maybe. You were messed up in there." He points to his own head, meaning one thing- I went crazy. That came as no surprise, I don't even want to think about my reaction after losing Peeta. Thinking everything over, I then realise I haven't the slightest clue regarding his death.

"I want to see it." I look directly at the TV controls in Haymitch's loose grip.

"It's not pretty." he sighs, working the controls out until a random channel comes on. I recognise it immediately, it's a repeat of Peeta's interview with Caesar Flickerman. Haymitch must sense how uncomfortable this makes me, he hits the mute button quickly before speaking again, "If you're not ready to see this, it's fine. You just woke up, you don't want to trouble yourself even more."

"I want to see it." I repeat sternly, looking at the screen and feeling sicker than I already am at the thought of the whole of Panem seeing his death, as if it doesn't matter.

To the people of the Capitol, it really doesn't matter, it's literally just a game for them.

To those back home, it's much different than that. An innocent child has been taken away and brutally murdered in front of everyone, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

"There." Haymitch points to the screen, the interview has ended and it switches to footage of when Peeta, Cato and I are on top of the Cornucopia. Cato holds Peeta tight, blood dripping down his face and Peeta's face going pale. I'm just stood there.. What was I thinking? I was trying to think of a way to save Peeta. Obviously.

My memory is blank up until that point. Then I see what happens.

"Cato, please." I beg, tears spilling down my cheeks. I'm stood staring at them both, probably deciding my next move. Cato shoots me one last look, and even from watching it and TV and not remembering the moment it's clear what he's trying to say.

He just stares at me for a minute. _'I have to try and win.' _I can see it in his eyes, and that means killing me too.

"No!" I screech, lunging forwards to get Peeta but it all backfires. Peeta was almost unconscious, but the sound of my steps startled him. He falls out of Catos arms, plummeting to the ground where the mutts await. Cato's knife slices his neck a little as he falls.

It's too late, with his leg and the mutts, he couldn't make it. No way he could survive.

My face crumples and I collapse onto the hard surface of the Cornucopia. The loud smack of my head against the metal brings Cato back to reality. I can see my chest moving up and down. I'm still breathing. I'm still alive.

Cato drops the bloodied knife, it clangs against the surface making a harsh noise. He rushes over to where I'm curled up then stares straight up. He knows where the cameras are- they're everywhere. "I won't do it!" he cries. "You can't make me!"

He loses it and sinks to the ground, clenching my grimy hand. "Wake up.." he says quietly. "I'm sorry."

I know from then that the whole of Panem must have had the same reaction to what I have when watching this on the screen. Silence, utter silence as the killing machine of the Games finally snaps.

"You killed Clove!" he yells up at the sky again. "See what you did? This isn't funny! If you're own sick amusement is watching others loved ones die and then making them go nuts, you're crazy! You've ruined us, turned us into monsters.." he says the last sentence quieter than the previous one, "I'll kill us both. I will! Believe me! Then what victor will you have? None!"

The sound of the hovercraft roars over us. Then the clip ends.

The only words I can manage to utter out are, "His family.."

"Gone." replies Haymitch. He lets out a loud sigh before he continues, "They televised it and forced Cato to watch."

"How did they.." my voice trails off as I imagine them doing the same to my family. Prim, my mother and probably Gale murdered because of a stupid mistake I made. I feel bad for asking, but I know I'll find out sooner or later.

"Shot." he says quickly. It's like even saying that hurts him- I shouldn't have asked. "They just barged into their home and shot them dead." He answers the next question that comes to mind before I can even ask, "Three of them. The mother, father and younger brother."

Unable to think of anything to say, I just nod to show I understand. Of course, I can never understand something like that. The closest memory I have is my father being killed in the mines but the Capitol didn't force me to watch him being blown to bits. I have to hold down the vomit just thinking about it. "Where's Cato now?"

"Down the hall."

"But won't the Capitol be angry? There's only ever been one victor each year, and now there's two.. I mean, there was supposed to be two if they're from the same district but he's from District 2.. I'm from District 12."

Haymitch nods almost mocking me. The corners of his lips twist into a smirk but then it drops as if he remembered something. "Yes." That's all he says before walking out of the room, leaving me alone in the silent room.

I'm not sure if it was to give me space so that I can think everything through or so that I can grieve over Peeta.

I do both.

I do not care who's watching, the nurses, Haymitch, snotting Capitol citizens. Your so called Girl On Fire cries, happy now?

I get comfortable in the bed and bury my head into the clean white pillow, a strong scent of disinfectant from the pillow almost makes me throw up.

Cato is alive, Peeta is not.

I wish it was the other way around, Cato does not deserve to live. He killed so many people, including Rue. It might not have been him with the spear, but there was no doubt the Careers had planned it. Tears roll down my cheeks and hit the pillow as I take it in that Peeta is really gone, dead forever. He can't come back. What will his family say?

My boy with the bread is dead, the one who saved my life those years ago. The dandelion.

I couldn't even thank him. He kept me alive, but I didn't return the favour.

My mind flashes back to those days in the cave- our first kiss.

It might have been strange for some as Peeta was burning up with fever and almost dying with blood poisoning, but a kiss is a kiss. It's not the circumstances, it's the person that you're with. He loved me, but I never loved him back.

My heart sinks.

I never loved him the same way and he knows it, I bet. Could he tell I was acting for the sponsors? For the food, for the life saving medicine?

What if I had never found him by the lake.. If he was already dead because of his leg.

His leg. Another reason to hate Cato.

I'm unsure if I am angry or sad, but either way I'm crying my eyes out. After a few minutes I have tired myself out and I fall asleep. I do not dream, but when I awake I see Haymitch by my bedside as he was earlier. Rather than the relief I felt earlier, I feel empty. I want Peeta to be there, not Haymitch. I pretend to sleep and cry silently, wishing I had Peeta to hold me again.


	2. Chapter 2

_'Meet me in the Hospital Gardens at 11am. (Down the hall, take a left, straight down that hall and there's a door on your right. If you don't know how to get there.) We need to talk some things over. -Haymitch'_

The note's on the bedside table facing down when I wake up. I must have slept for a long time, except for when I woke up for a few minutes late in the night because of the haunting nightmares. They were mostly of Peeta's death over and over again but even more gruesome, but one time it was of Prim being one of the mutts too. The baring teeth and the growling at me, almost making me believe my sister hates me, even when I woke up.

The fresh daylight shines through the giant window to my left, the sky blue and cloudless. I'm pretty sure it's artificial. The clouds don't look like that back home, the ones in the sky look too perfect.

After thinking about clouds, it takes a minute for me to remember what happened yesterday.

Oh, yes. Winning the games, Peeta's death.

My heart drops, but I realise I have to try to move on with my life. He won't want me to be crying for weeks on end, right? He thought he was going to die in the games anyway.. It's a harsh way I'm thinking but it's true. I feel ashamed for feeling this way, but I can't help it.

I turn on the TV monitor, and a presenter I haven't seen before talks about the Games. His face looks almost plastic with all the surgery and it's a wonder how he manages to talk with those pumped up lips. They're glossy and bright pink, doesn't anyone care how unatural it looks?

Then I remember, in the Capitol looking like a freak show is fashion.

The small time at the bottom of the screen shows 10:03am. An hour to go. Time seems to go so slowly.

I start to prepare myself, can I still walk? I should be able to. Will the drugs they've given me make me crazy? I hope not. Will they be watching? Of course not, Haymitch isn't that stupid. That's why he's going outside. Obviously.

"Miss Everdeen," a male voice says. I'm so relieved that it isn't the rude woman from yesterday, I don't even look up. "How are you feeling this morning?"

I look up and see a middle aged man with dark brown hair and a skin tone I can only describe as 'sunkissed'. He smiles with overly white teeth, matching his clothes. "Better." I answer, "Maybe a litle hungry."

He laughs, "You will have food brought to you in a while, I just need to do some tests to check you're doing fine."

"I feel perfectly okay, thanks." I reply harshly, glaring at the man. No way is he running any tests on me, I'm awake and sane aren't I?

He notices my tone and leans forward, his eyebrows lowering in anger. He speaks slowly, quietly and with a harsh tone, "I am your doctor until you leave, now don't speak with me in that tone. I get paid for making sure you're fine and you can try and fight it all you want, we can knock you out easily enough."

I decide to keep quiet, I can't risk meeting Haymitch because of some annoying doctor who wants to waste time, no matter how much I want to punch him in the face.

In the next half an hour, various tools are in use. My temperature is taken, my blood pressure is taken, even a urine sample. That one is most time consuming considering I haven't had a drink in weeks.

I'm disappointed when my first taste of food since the arena is plain toast. I eat it anyway, a bite every few seconds. The doctor stares at as if I've commited a crime and it reminds me of Effie's rant about eating properly. I smile, thinking of Effie.

Where is she, anyway?

"I'll be back to check on you in a while," the doctor finally says once I'm done, taking the tray with the empty plate away.

The time on the TV now says 10:47 and the plastic looking presenter is still smiling and talking away about highlights of the Games. Will they get over already?

Then I realise something horrifying. The interviews after the games, the Victory Tour. I have all of that to come, with Cato.

That must be what Haymitch wants to talk about.

I can't wait any longer, I rush down to the Gardens following Haymitch's instructions.

The doors swuig open and I am welcomed by fresh air, it feels a little like home. Obviously a little different as I'm outside a hospital in the Captiol and the trees are fake, not in the real forests back home. It's not hard to spot Haymitch, he's sat on a bench staring at some water and I know he wishes it was some sort of alcohol. He soon spots me, seeing as we're the only ones out here.

"Come," he says. "We need to talk."

I walk over to the bench and soon enough we are walking all the way to the other side of the Gardens where no one can hear us even if they try their hardest. "About the Victory Tour, right?"

He shakes his head slowly and checks the area for any hidden cameras or microphones that might be lying around. "You remember Cato's speech on the Cornucopia?"

I shake my head, "That he wouldn't kill me, that's about it."

He sighs, "Well obviously President Snow is furious, you both made a fool out of him and the whole tradition of the Games."

"Well maybe kids being murdered shouldn't be a tradition, " I say angrily, kicking a rock away with the extremely thin shoes the hospital provided me with.

"Yes, we've all heard that one before. But Cato and I's mentor have come up with a way to make it seem that you two weren't planning the whole thing."

"Why would I plan something with Cato? He wanted me dead!" I yell that part too loud, but once again I'm thankful no one else is here. "Probably still does."

"Just get along with eachother, that's all I'm asking," Haymitch says shakily, taking a small sip of his water and looking off in another direction with distant eyes.

He's lying.

I raise a no longer perfectly plucked eyebrow, "Just get along? Tell me the truth, Haymitch."

Haymitch opens his mouth to speak but someone interrupts him, he looks happy about it. His eyes light up and a smirk tugs on the corners of his mouth. "You two!" a voice screams. I know that voice.

"Effie!" I turn around and watch as she tries to make her way across the grass in a bright blue dress and a green blazer. Her pink wig no longer sits on her head, in it's place is another piece. It's a very pale green shade that looks almost white. although the crazy makeup still covers her face just with different colours. She doesn't look too different, she looks nicer since the colours are toned down.

"I swear, Haymitch," she mutters obviously irritated. She stops when she's reached us. "Out of all the places to talk, you choose a grassed area like the Gardens. How am I supposed to get out here in these?" She points to her shoes. They're bright blue heels with a perfect sequined bow on the front.

Haymitch rolls his eyes, "You're in a hospital for goodness sake, can't you calm down with your outfits a little?"

Effie's jaw drops, "Maybe if you learnt a little about fashion you'd understand. You obviously will never learn as you can't stay sober long enough for someone to teach you the basics!"

Their pointless argument continues for many minutes before Haymitch finally stops talking and turns to me. His eyes bore into mine and I understand what he says next will be important, "You have to make them believe something was going on all along between you two, it was never Peeta that you loved- it was Cato. You just have to put the point across that you never thought it'd come down to you two."

"Them?" I ask. "Who do you mean?"

"Everyone."

"Don't you think they'll see through it? I mean.. Those days in the cave with Peeta, I couldn't have faked those no matter how hard I tried. Sure I wasn't in love with Peeta but I did have some sort of feelings for him."

Haymitch nods slowly and so does Effie. She then speaks, "With such circumstances like the arena, it was bound to make tributes emotional. We can use that!"

Haymtich nods, "Good thinking."

I don't speak, I stare at them both. Is it becoming a new thing for people to plan out my life? First the Capitol by forcing me into the games, and now my mentor and escort planning what I have to do, what I have to say and how I act.

"Now where's Cato?" Effie turns to Haymitch, her eyes scanning the Gardens and her arms cross over her blazer. "I was sure we'd be speaking to you both. And Brutus! Where is he?"

I have no idea who Brutus is but all this new information's making my head spin so I don't bother to ask.

Does Cato already know about our mentors plans for us? Will he go along with it? WIthout his family he really has nothing to lose anymore.

But what about Clove? No one can ignore that he mentioned Clove whilst we were on the Cornucopia. But I guess he'll use the same excuse I will, the emotional rush from the Games.

"He's not well enough to get out of bed, yet." Haymitch guides us back to the doors leading back inside the hospital. "Katniss, would you like to visit him?"

"Have you told him the plan?" I ask.

Haymitch nods, "Yes."

"Then why did you need him out here?" Also, what's the point of me going to see him? He know's what's happening, why do I need to even be near him until we're in public? I'll end up wanting to hurt him, just a little payback for what he did to Peeta.

"Just to discuss what happens next week when you're interviewed. You did after all win the Games. It's tradition for the victor to be interviewed afterwards, victors in our case. The audience will either love you or hate you. You know which one to go for, am I right?"

I nod and step inside the sterile hallway. The steps I take soon ruin the sparkling floor with pieces of grass and mud from outside. I peel off my shoes and throw them in a nearby trash can before Haymitch tells me where to find Cato, "Same hallway as yours, Room 103."

I hadn't noticed the rooms were numbered when I walked down this hallway earlier, I was too eager to see Haymitch, to get out of this horrible place.

Reading the room numbers as I walk past seems to pass time. Room 107, Room 106, 105, 104.. I stand in front of the door marked 103.

Behind the door is Cato. Sick, weak Cato.

Nonetheless, the boy that killed Peeta. The boy I supposedly love.

I'll fake it, but I will never feel anything but pure hatred for him.

When I open the door, it's no surprise to find him sleeping peacefully. His chest rises and falls in perfect rhythm, his face looks almost alien to me. It's a pleasant surprise he doesn't have that look that he's about to kill me. His blonde hair is messed up and those annoying beeps return.

I don't have the patience for Cato to wake up, it could take hours. I walk towards his bed and slap his cheek hard, leaving a pink mark. "Wake up," I say once he's opened his eyes.

"Ughh..." he groans sleepily and his hand goes to touch his cheek. It only takes a minute for him to return to his cocky self and I soon wish he was still asleep, "Thanks for that Twelve, real nice."

"You're welcome," I say sarcastically, taking a seat next to his bed. "Let's get this over with already, alright?"

"Get what over with?" He stares at me as he stretches his arms. I'm not sure if it's to wake him up or to show off his muscles. Either way, he still annoys me with anything he does.

"We need to talk how we're going to pull it off."

He nods slowly, messing up his hair even more which has grown since the arena. It now sits just above his eyebrows in a blonde mess. "Come here then." He pats the space next to him and moves over.

"No." I protest, folding my arms angrily over my chest. "I'm not sitting with you."

He rolls his eyes, "Don't be so stupid. We're going to have to get much closer in the interviews, am I right?"

He makes a good point, but I still refuse. "We're not in interviews right now."

"But if you don't get used to it then it'll look awkward when we actually are. Is that what you want? For the whole of Panem to see through us and your family.." he trails off and moves over to his orignal sitting placement. "Just forget it."

I bite my lip quickly, how can I be so heartless? His family was just killed and I'm making a fuss about sitting on a bed. "I'm sorry." I mutter.

He doesn't look up. "It's fine."

I get up and sit on the end of the bed closest to him, "You're right."

He looks at me then the huge gap between us. "That's as close at you're going to get? What, are you scared I'll kill you or something?"

I clench my fists. My first reaction is to reply with a comment about Peeta, how that's what he did to him. "No." I say through gritted teeth, moving closer until I'm close enough that he puts an arm around me. I flinch. "What are we going to say?"

He shrugs with the arm that isn't around me, "We didn't think it'd come down to us?"

I shake my head, "No, I mean about how everything started. They're bound to ask that."

"I'll think of something."

"I'm a bad liar," I admit. "I'm bad at talking to people in general, I hate it."

"As much as you hate me?" A cocky grin spreads across his features and his eyes brighten.

"Not as much." I say truthfully. I really do hate Cato, I don't know how I haven't hit him yet. Oh wait, I did.

His face drops, "That's not something you say to get people to like you."

"I'm not trying to make you like me, I'm trying to put up with you for 5 minutes and you're making it difficult!" I yell, removing myself from the bed and standing over him. "You can't just kill my friend and expect me to be fine with you!"

"You're not the only person that lost someone!" he roars, sitting up then wincing in pain.

My eyebrows furrow, "I lost two people. One was someone who's cared for me a great deal, and the other was an innocent twelve year old!" I have to hold back the tears after mentioning Rue. How much she reminded me of Prim, how I hoped she'd win if I didn't. "Don't play that game with me."

"I lost three!" His face is red with anger, his fist clenched and I can see veins on his muscular arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I gush sarcastically. "I didn't realise we were having a contest of how many of our friends died! At least I didn't murder like you did."

"You're the reason for all of my friends dying, don't be so innocent all the time! You shot Marvel with your bow! Tracker-jackers got Glimmer because we were looking for you! And Clove.." He almost looks as hurt as I did when I mentioned Rue.

"Thresh killed Rue, not me." I reply calmly.

"She was trying to kill you, so it's your fault a little." His face looks calm now. How can he blame me when it was her trying to murder me with a knife?

Then I say something I regret, "I killed Glimmer."

"Excuse me?" His eyes widen in anger. "You killed her?"

"That's right. I cut the tracker-jacker nest down with my knife, right onto her."

"I hate you."

I smile a little, "Back at you, Two."

My nickname for him doesn't fase him, he's proud to come from such a wealthy district. He gets himself comfortable again. "Just let me do the talking in the interview and try not to annoy me so much."

"You're the annoying one." I stare down at my bare feet unable to think of what to say next but I'm saved by a nurse coming in with a bowl. An empty black bowl.

"I've tried to be nice to you, but you keep bringing up the Games. Don't you think I'm trying to forget?"

I'm the one who rolls my eyes this time, "Whatever."

I watch as the nurse gives Cato a clear cup filled with a red fizzing liquid. He drinks it without hesitating then a few seconds later he vomits into the bowl and then the nurse leaves.

"Why?" is all I can think of to ask. They made him throw up?

For what purpose?

Are they testing us now, checking we're not completely insane like some tributes turn out to be?

Or are they going to use us for future mutations? Like the mutts that resembled all the dead tributes this year.

He laughs a little, "You blew up my food."

"Excuse me?"

"In the Games." He looks like he's remembering it for a second for a second then snaps out of it. Yes, I blew up the food they had. What does that have to do with anything? "I can't hunt, I don't know which plants are edible. So I ate what I could, and they need me to get it out of my system."

"Gross," I reply and laugh a little. "But surely sponsors would send you something to eat."

He shrugged, "If they did I didn't get it."

I always thought that since the Careers are from wealthy districts, sponsors can afford to send them feasts of food to keep them going- to make them stronger than the others so it's a more amusing murder when the others don't have the strength to fight back.

"So they give you a drink to throw up. I thought you can just do it by yourself."

"Oh, I can."

I furrow my eyebrows, "Then why take it?"

"It tastes like cherries, my favourite." he replies and lies back down smiling. "I need to sleep now, it's tiring."

A minute later he's snoring lightly, his chest rising and falling as it was before. A minute ago he was wide awake, and now he's exhausted.

I know from experience that vomitting doesn't have that effect, I've thrown up plenty of times after I've tried to make my own meals when my mother is busy. Some plants and game don't go together, at all.

So, the red fizzing liquid doesn't just make it easier to vomit? It's doing something else to him.

It makes him so tired he needs to sleep, but strangely happy at the same time.

It's definitely doing something else, but what?

I rush back to my room where I find Haymitch sitting by my bed. "Ah, I thought you'd be back-"

I cut him off, "Haymitch, they're doing something to Cato."


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm sure they're not!" Effie exclaims and stands up from the chair she was previously sat in by the window. I didn't even notice she was here. How did a person in such bright clothing blend in so easily in a white room? "Tell me, what did you see them doing exactly?"

I speak slow and clearly, "They gave him a drink, it was red and looked fizzy. He drank it and he threw up and then his mood just changed. He was really happy and then he just fell to sleep."

Effie laughs as if I've just told a hilarious joke, "It's just a simple medication. They call it memorodine, it erases painful memories and puts your mind at rest for a little while. I bet previous victors wish they had some to take now and again..." he voice trails off for a moment but she snaps back into reality. "It does whatever the mind thinks you'll do, in small cases. Cato's been told it will make him vomit, so that's what he does. The medication doesn't do it, it has a placebo effect as well as the very strong taste."

"Cherries," I say, tasting the word on my tongue. I've never really heard much about them, except that they're a luxury fruit now only avaliable in the Capitol. Cato obviously got to try them at one point, maybe in training and maybe back home since his district is richer than most. "That's what he said they taste like. Cherries."

"One of the best fruits," says Haymitch. "Certainly one of my favourites."

"You've tried them?" I ask a little taken back. How can a man from District 12 have access to them?

"All the years of mentoring," he explains. "All the meals in the Training Centre, all the meals I had discussing with citizens to sponsor tributes. I've had them quite a few times."

"Particularly last year." Effie says, her eyes glazing over as if she's remembering it. "On the first night in the Training Centre we recieved the most marvelous cake, topped with cream and cherries."

"Sounds nice." I say quietly. I've never really had cake, I've simply only admired them from the bakery windows; the ones Peeta decorated. "So what now?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Peeta.

"You and I make our way to the Training Centre, Effie and Cato will join us there in an hour."

"But he's sleeping.." my voice trails off and I stare at Effie who's adjusting the position of her wig and grins at me.

"It only lasts a few minutes. You really think you can wipe a memory when the person's awake?" She throws her head back in laughter and shakes her head. "He should be awake by now."

I notice Haymitch is holding a small black bag as he stands up and leads me to the door, "You can change out of this gown when we arrive, it'll just be thrown away anyway. They don't believe in reusing these since some patients are diseased and citizens are scared it can pass through clothing."

I roll my eyes, "How stupid!" I scoff and look down at the thin hospital gown that covers my skin.

It feels almost alien making my way back to the Training Centre, we step out of the car that escorted us and make our way through the front door. The reception area that was once filled with tributes, mentors and their escorts is empty. I peer down the hallway to see the doors leading to where I trained and I shudder. There used to be 24 of us in there being specially prepared for the arena.

"This way, sweetheart." Haymitch says in a quiet sympathetic voice, guiding me to the elevator. The elevator itself smells strongly of disinfectant and the button pad has been polished to perfection. Haymitch presses the button to the penthouse suite, marked with the number 12.

Nothing has changed. The tables and chairs are the same, the same couch, the same large screen we were focused on at one point to find out our scores, myself scoring 11 and Peeta scoring 8. The scene plays over and over in my head as his face drops when my score is shown. Guilt washes over me.

No one cared about him in the first place, they wanted to keep me alive. I run to my room and slam the door in frustration, screaming out at the top of my lungs. Then the room goes silent and I hear the clank of a wine bottle being retrieved- Haymitch's true happiness is finally restored.

I slowly peel off the gown and throw it into the basket next to the shower before stepping in. I scan the different shower options until I come across a strange looking one, cherry scented. I press the button and sigh in relief as the hot water runs over my naked body, putting my mind at ease.

I feel cleansed and happy after my shower and style my hair to its usual braid. I smile at myself in the mirror and find the small black bag Haymitch was carrying earlier placed on my bed. There are only two items inside, my Reaping Day dress and my mockingjay pin. I tuck the bag under my bed out of plain sight and hear the boom of a door closing.

"Katniss, dear!" Effie's voice echoes through the hallways and I sigh and make my way to the main room. Haymitch is sprawled out on one of the large leather couches, Effie is sat neatly on one of the smaller chairs and Cato is perched on the end of the other large couch. "There you are!" she beams. "Sit, we have a lot to discuss."

I take a seat a distance away from Cato, causing him to roll his eyes, "You can totally tell we're in love."

I ignore his sarcasm and Effie just tuts.

Haymitch takes a sip from the wine bottle, "So..?"

"Housing arrangements!" Effie smiles. "While you two were unconcious Enobaria, Haymitch and I had to decide on where you two would be living."

"Wait." Cato interrupts, "I'm not going back to my own district?"

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous. How can you two be in love if you live so far away? You can't. You will move into the Victors Village in District 12, Haymitch will be across the street keeping a close eye on the two of you. Katniss, your mother and sister will be living in the house next door."

"Why can't we live in District 2?" Cato folds his muscled arms across his chest and leans back into the couch, cockiness spread across his face.

"It's easier to move one person than three," Effie answers. "And I'm sure you wouldn't want to be back there given the circumstances."

"What about his things?" I ask. "He'll have to go back there eventually, to gather his belongings."

Cato clears his throat, "They blew up my house after taking my family." He stares down at the floor, not wanting to meet anyones sympathetic eyes.

I bite down on my lip and look at him, genuinely feeling sorry for him. "That's terrible," I say. "I'm really sorry."

He shrugs a little, "It's fine. Dwelling on the past won't change things, I should accept they're gone."

Effie looks like she's tearing up, "Oh, Cato." she sighs.

"They're in a better place." He rubs his forehead with his thumb and stares at all of us, his blue eyes scanning across the room. "My brother would have been put in the glass bowl eventually, it's better they're gone. Panem's not a good place to live."

The room falls silent as we soak up Cato's words. I pull my knees to my chest and hug them.

"It's not like I'll ever have a family again, right?" His voice cracks and he stares at the floor. "The Capitol can't hurt me when I have no one left, they can't threaten me and they certainly can't put anyone I care about through so much pain."

"Haymitch." Effie says, staring at the man who is now sat up and holding the wine bottle firmly.

He nods, "Of course. Cato, come with me please."

Cato looks up at Haymitch who is now stood up without the bottle and his mouth parts slightly. He nods and follows Haymitch out of the room.

I rest my chin on my knees and stare at Effie. Neither of us say anything for a while until the Avox girl from before the Games appears, she indicates to the table and looks at us sympathetically. I know I'm not supposed to talk to Avoxes but at this point in time I don't care. "Did you see him?"

She nods in response.

"Did he look okay?"

She shakes her head and points to her eye and then her cheek.

"Crying," says Effie. "She says he was crying." She looks at the Avox and stands up, "Thank you."

I'm taken back by her sudden personality change but can't help but wonder how she knows what the girl is saying.

The girl stares at me with sympathetic eyes and gestures to the table again. She understands Cato, she lost her friend whilst trying to escape. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I did help. Would I have been murdered or turned into an Avox myself? Probably murdered for being on illegal grounds.

The table is laid out perfectly and I see a large helping of what appeared to be a type of meat in a sauce. I'm cautious about eating it and turn to Effie, "What are these?" I pick up the mysterious food with my fork.

"Sea scallops," she says. "All the way from District 4, isn't that handy?"

District 4 is known for fishing, it's a type of fish. I simply not and proceed to take a small bite of the food, the taste fills my mouth with a rich taste of something I can't describe as well as a slight garlic taste.

"We're back." I know it's Haymitch but I don't look up, I eat my first real meal since before the Games, not counting the poor excuse for my breakfast in the hospital. I look up after swallowing the first piece of the scallop and watch Haymitch cross the room to take a seat next to Effie and shove a forkful of food into his mouth, receiving a lecture about table manners from Effie.

Cato walks in a minute later, his eyes looking sore and red. The Avox girl was right, he'd been crying. "Looks good," he mutters, taking a seat next to me and playing with his food with his fork. Effie looks like she's about to make a comment on his behaviour too but stops herself and looks away.

Haymitch stares at Cato but he doesn't notice, his eyes are fixed on his fork he is twirling around. I take another bite from my meal and let the warmness fill my mouth and I breathe in the heavenly scent. I wish we have this back home.

"I've never had fish before," I say in attempt to break the awkward silence.

"I have, many times." Haymitch takes a bite of his food.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. He has? But he's from District 12, we don't get this there! "When?"

"Years of mentoring, we get a fish related meal at least once a year. But this is the first time I'm here after the Games, isn't that great?" he smiles proudly and looks at Effie who smiles back. "Again, congratulations."

"I'm not hungry," Cato announces, standing up and storming out of the room. The Avox girl appears to take away his plate and Effie and Haymitch whisper amongst eachother. I eat one more forkful and stand up.

I clear my throat, "I'll see if he's okay." My heart stops when I reach the room Cato's in. Peeta's old room. Peeta has literally been replaced with Cato in every way possible.

My thoughts about Peeta stop when I hear small sobs from the other side of the door. I knock twice then open the door. Cato is sat on the floor, one leg straight in front of him and the other one bent where he rests his elbow. He stares at the large wall which shows a picture of a forest.

"I didn't know you liked trees."

He looks up at me and shakes his head, his red eyes staring into mine. "I don't, it was like that when I came in."

Peeta.

"I see."

I bite down on my lip and sit next to Cato, I open my mouth to speak but he beats me to it. "His name was Bray," he says. "He was only four, the sweetest kid you could imagine. Blonde hair that would always get messy, big blue eyes that just made everything better every time you saw them, a laugh that brightened my day. My parents loved him more than me, he wasn't some monster with a knife, he was an innocent toddler spilling food over himself and waving at anyone he saw. He was never scared, he was so brave. Not even when he said goodbye, he wrapped his little arms around me and wished me luck and that he knows I'll be fine. He only got scared once, last year. The Games were on the TV and he watched one tribute being cut in half, he screamed and ran out of the room. Later that night I heard a small whimper and there he was, standing at my door holding a blanket he's had since he was born. I just smiled half asleep at him and he ran over and climbed into my bed, he tucked himself under the sheets and hugged my arm. 'Cato, I'm scared,' he whispered. I didn't know what to say, I just kissed his forehead and told him everything would be okay. He was shaking with fear and I held him tight until he slept." Cato wipes a tear from his eye. "It should have been me. I should have just let you kill me. He didn't deserve it."

A lump forms in my throat and it's a wonder I can bring myself to speak, "You didn't know," I say softly. "Don't think that it's your fault, you didn't plan for it to happen."

"He was so young," he whispers, covering his eyes with his hand.

Without thinking I press my lips to his cheek and rest my head on his shoulder. "He loves you and he knows it wasn't you who did it."

He removes his hand and looks at the wall again, "Katniss, do you have nightmares?"

"Yes, about the Games mostly," I admit. "Do you?"

"I do," he says. "But they're not about the Games, they're about Bray."

I sigh, "I'm sorry you had to watch that, I'm sorry any of this happened to you."

He moves away so I have no choice but to remove my head from his shoulder, "He's in a better place, right?"

I nod, "You already know he is, you don't need my reassurance."

"I'm not asking for your reassurance, I'm asking for your opinion." His blue orbs bore into mine and his tongue traces his bottom lip. "Do you agree?"

"I agree with you." I stand up and sit on his bed, fixing my braid and patting the space next to me. "The interview's tomorrow?"

"It is." He sits next to me and smiles half heartedly. "Thank you, Katniss."

I tilt my head to one side and look at his now more pink sore eyes, he tilts his head to do the same then laughs. "For what?" I ask.

"Letting me talk to you, no one's done that since.." he stops talking and stares at me and I know who he's talking about.

"Clove," I say. A question pops to mind but I hesitate before asking it.

He moves a piece of hair that has fallen in front of my eyes and lowers his eyebrows, "What are you thinking about?" His hot breath hits my face and I bring myself back to reality.

"Did you love her?" I blurt out.

He stares emotionless at me for a minute before shaking his head, "Not in the way she loved me, she was like my best friend. I didn't have the heart to tell her I didn't feel the same way."

"You regret not telling her?"

"Of course not, I'd rather she died happy than knowing the truth and ruining everything because of heartbreak."

Peeta comes to mind and I instantly feel better about not telling him it was all for the Games. Cato makes a good point. If someone you care about has a high risk of dying, it's better to keep them happy, right?

"So," I say, changing the subject. "The interview, how are we going to pull this off?"

"I'm guessing kind of like this," he smirks and places his hands on my hips, pulling me onto his lap and placing a trail of kisses down my neck to my collarbone. "Is that convincing?"

"Not bad," I lie, trying to stop myself from suggesting how much I enjoyed that. "Had much practice?"

He shakes his head, "None at all."

"Then how do you know what to do?" I turn around to look at him but he's already staring at me.

The corner of his lips turn upwards into a small, "I just do whatever feels right?" He grins. "I'll just try to act like I can't keep my hands off you." He removes his hands from my hips and I immediately miss his touch, the warmth of his hands made me feel safe for a little while. He cups my chin with his large hands and pulls my face closer. "Just to get rid of any awkwardness tomorrow, because you know it'll happen." He leans in closer until his soft lips touch mine. His kiss feels different than Peetas, it's the perfect amount of gentle but enough for me to not want to stop. He pulls away after a few seconds and whispers, "There.." His thumb strokes my cheek and his blue eyes look into mine and I know that this time it isn't to prepare ourselves, it's a case of us both wanting to. I feel his hot breath on my face and I lean in and kiss him with much for force this time, wrapping my arms around him. After a minute of this, his hand is in my hair ruining my braid completely. I don't mind until I feel him smile against my lips and I let out a small giggle against his.

"What are we doing?" I laugh, pulling away and staring at him as he catches his breath.

He grins and flashes his white teeth at me, "Having fun."

He leans in to kiss me again but I lean back away from him and end up on my back on his bed. "Save it for the cameras." I laugh once again and make my way to the door.

"Cherries," he says softly. "Don't think I didn't notice."

I think back to my shower, I selected cherries. "I wanted to see what they're like, I'm not trying to impress you by my scent."

"Whatever you say, Twelve." He smirks and lies down on his back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

I roll my eyes and close the door behind me once I'm in the hallway. I sink down against the wall and smile to myself, ridding myself of guilt from Peeta's death.

I bite my lip to stop from grinning and feel childish from my reactions to a few kisses.

"What are you doing sat down there?" Haymitch passes me in the hallway and stares down at me with a questioning look.

"Just... Thinking." I look up at him and smile. "Thank you for saving me Haymitch, with the sponsors."

I'm not sure if he's drunk or sober but his smile is geniune, "Anything for the Girl on Fire." His smile drops and he bends down to my level and says in all seriousness, "Look after Cato, he needs you."

"I know, he told me about his brother."

Haymitch pulls out a square of material from his pocket and hands it to me, "Did he tell you about the night Bray was scared?"

I nod, "He joined Cato for the night."

"This is his blanket, he was carrying it when they were dragged out of the house. A neighbour found it before it was destroyed." I stare down at the soft blue material I'm holding, the edge of the blanket feels like silk and the rest is incredibly soft.

"What do you want me to do with it?"

"Save it. He'll need it eventually, but you'll know when."

I fold the material carefully, not wanting to damage the only remaining part of Bray. "And if I don't?"

"You will, just keep it safe for now." He smiles and takes a giant sip from the wine bottle until the odour is overly noticable. "Now, get to bed. Big big day tomorrow!" he mimmicks Effie and laughs to himself uncontrolably.

I enter my room and strip down to my underclothes before sliding between the sheets. I play with the material between my fingers.

The boy with the sword isn't who I thought at all, he's grieving over the only person he ever loved. He's not a monster, he's broken.


End file.
